Without biblical instruction, the church has looked to the world in our processing of grief. But when grieving from a biblical perspective is ignored it is also then replaced with regret, resentment, substance abuse, or worse. In our pursuit for navigating the soul we will see that God has given us a model to follow by learning to lament.
Definitions:
- Grief is the process of accepting unforeseen, unwanted, or unexpected changes to what we love.
- Suicide is the most dreadful conclusion from incorrectly processing grief.
- Lament is the God-sheltered space to correctly process the grief that allows us to grow.
Foundations:
- God allows grief to shock us from this world
- God understands grief
- Suicide is not the unforgivable sin
- Jesus offers forgiveness, redemption, and hope
Conclusion:
You must (1) make time (2) to gather your grief and (3) offer it to God through lament.
Application: The Principles of Lament
- Center yourself upon God as God
- Give recognition to your burdens
- Release your burdens in God’s hands
- Make space to grieve under God’s protection
- Direct your heart towards hope in God
What is a friend for?
- Be present with your friend in their grief
- Give them opportunity to speak and opportunity to be silent
- Make referrals for extra help as necessary
- Walk with them together towards hope
2 Corinthians 1:8-9
“We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain
“We can ignore even pleasure. But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”
Isaiah 53:3
“He is despised and rejected by men, a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.”
Hosea 11:1-2, 8
“When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son. But the more they were called, the more they went away from me. They sacrificed to the Baals and they burned incense to images. How can I give you up, Ephraim? How can I hand you over, Israel? How can I make you like Admah? How can I set you like Zeboiim? My heart churns within Me; My sympathy is stirred.”
Matthew 27:45-46
“From noon until three in the afternoon darkness came over all the land. About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”)”
Hebrews 11:32
“And what more shall I say? For the time would fail me to tell of Gideon and Barak and Samson and Jephthah, also of David and Samuel and the prophets.”
Psalm 46:1-3, 10
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
– C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed
Talk to me about the truth of religion and I’ll listen gladly. Talk to me about the duty of religion and I’ll listen submissively. But don’t come talking to me about the consolations of religion or I shall suspect that you don’t understand.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any [a]trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”
1 Thessalonians 4:13-14
“Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.”